Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
