maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
