The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
