Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
