I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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