just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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