I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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