Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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