Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
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Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
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...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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