You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
