Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
