Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
My feet surprised me
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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