I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
