I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
More tranny stories later!
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize