Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
