Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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