I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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