i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
