I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
