Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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