He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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