i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
