I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
