Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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