We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I love you. Go after that dick
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