So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
