Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
