i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
