Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
