The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
