My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Redeem this text for a blowjob
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
