school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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