i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
