My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I touched a dick in church today
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize