Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
