She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
