if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
