You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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