batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
