I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
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I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
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Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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