wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
