exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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