i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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