After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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