using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
