It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
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