But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
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