They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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