help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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