Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
