I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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