U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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