I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize