So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
