we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
