he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
