I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
