His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
