I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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