the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
