i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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