Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
