this beer tastes like vomit already
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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