My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
