My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
