She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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